How To Be a Better Lover (Even if You’re a Man with Impotence)

By | October 19, 2018

You can either focus on your problem or you can focus on other ways to experience the highest levels of pleasure with your partner.


Let’s face it, getting older has more of an impact on your body than just the graying of your hair and the expansion of your gut. You may be noticing that in addition to all of the physical changes happening you are also realizing some significant psychological ones too. It’s a fear that dominates men. As a healthy active man, you may be feeling that your performance in the bedroom is now overshadowed by the anxiety you feel instead of the natural flow of desire and affection with your partner that she or he is expecting from you.

As a proud man, it can be uncomfortable and embarrassing to discuss the subject of impotence. Unfortunately, because it doesn’t get talked about openly, it still commands a significant stigma of judgment about one’s manhood. How a man performs sexually is held with such high importance for his self-confidence that when it is challenged it can have a devastating and long-lasting impact.

According to recent studies, the age that men begin to suffer performance problems is much younger than it used to be. Some studies, like the one done at Tulane University School of Medicine, New Orleans, show that impotency is affecting men as early as those in their 20’s and 30’s.

Fortunately, due to medical advancements, the majority of impotence problems can be treated with medical intervention. But, for many men, the medical condition is not the biggest part of their problem. It’s their mind that continues to get in the way of their performance even after successful physical treatment of the symptoms. For many men, the battle is lost long before it’s even begun.

Dealing with impotence will force you to make a choice. You can either focus on your problem or you can focus on other ways to experience the highest levels of pleasure with your partner. Being good in bed is not just about how good you are at intercourse but also on your physical, emotional and spiritual connection with your partner.

Here are 3 ways to be better in bed, even with impotence:

1. Erogenous exploration is time well spent.

Believe it or not, there is more than one way to feel amazing during sex. Your body has multiple erogenous zones that can be stimulated for sexual pleasure. In return, when you take the time to learn those zones for yourself and for your partner, you will become a master at creating intense and long-lasting pleasure for both of you. Touch is one of the biggest stimulators of arousal so don’t neglect your sensual side. Your partner will most definitely look forward to their next “date” with you.

2. Playing games should be your new norm.

If you feel embarrassed at the idea of playthings in the bedroom, then end that right now. The benefit of bringing games and toys into your bedroom is something worth trying. Don’t be afraid to learn new ways to arouse yourself and your partner whether or not the conventional ways of reaching climax work for you. Playing this way can bring a deep sense of comfort with your partner and when that happens, not surprisingly, the anxiety you feel about your performance suddenly disappears. Not to mention, your partner will be pleased.

3. The best conversations often speak no words.

It is human nature to want to fill the gaps of silence with words. However, some of the most romantic and intimate situations are experienced with absolutely no words. These moments of connection can be some of the deepest and most meaningful moments for lovers. Sharing yourself when you are the most vulnerable invites your partner to do the same and they will love you for it. It is in this vulnerability where two people can become one. Creating a safe place where you can totally surrender and become a sexual being releases all tension, stress, and anxiety. Your partner will be left with favorable flashbacks to remind them of their time with you and leave them craving for the next time.

Performance in the bedroom is one of the biggest problems for men and one of the leading factors of why men don’t pursue intimate relationships. The good news is that it doesn’t have to be that way. By overcoming the destructive mind chatter in your head and exploring new ways to express yourself as a sexual being, you can open yourself up to explore amazing intimate opportunities that will leave both you and your lover feeling totally satisfied and wanting for more. How you show up in the bedroom is a choice you get to make.

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